The Pumpkin Patch: books

So being anonymous has it's advantages, as well as it's drawbacks.

I don't have to worry about people making fun of my grammar in real life, but I also can't really let you all into my life entirely.

Maybe one day I will come out of the preverbial blogger-closet, but for now, anonymity will be where I dwell.

That said, why not give you a little peek into the blogger-closet?

What about me?

Well let's see.....

I force myself to be a morning person.
I spend far too much on coffee in the mornings.
I am a procrastinator.
I love books.
I love pens, and must always have a lot of them around.
I love being in Office Depot, the plethora of supplies make me happy.
Bacon = happiness
My new laptop cost more than I should have spent.
Dogs....not cats.
Breakfast food is good any time of the day.
I am happy where I work.....with the job, the people, and the flexibility.
The only food I really don't care for is beets (in the jar).
I am a natural athlete, and pick up any sport fairly easily.
I am somewhere between an Athiest, and an Agnostic.
I've realized that doing good things, does make you feel good inside.
I am a good liar.
I have a slight laundry fetish.
I think I am a good driver.

That's enough for now. I'll add to the list another day.

Now for the mindless ending you always look forward to:

I love this one...

With all the hype surrounding the newest, and last Harry Potter book, I thought I would at least make an attempt at endeavoring to try and see if there is a post I could possibly create which would maybe in fact poke fun at and possibly point out some interesting facts while at the same time saying nothing of any consequence towards this great achievement in literature.

Yes it my very own Harry Potter post. Yay me, Jumping on the proverbial band wagon.

The problem with this post, I will tell you right near the start is, I know very little of the books. Well I know they exist, and I know they are all the rage, but I have yet to read one. In fact, if memory serves, I am quite certain I have not even layed eyes on an actual copy of any of the 7 books (up close an personal that is.....I've likely seen them advertised in print or on tv).

So what can someone like me say about the Harry Potter phenomenon, without having read the books? Not too much.

I don't know how many pages they are.

I don't know what size font they used.

I don't know what sort of binding the books have.

I don't know whether there are pictures in the books, or whether they are all words.

I cannot comment (and yes I realize the irony here of saying I cannot comment on the very thing I am commenting on currently) on the style of writing in these books.

And I cannot, even if I try pretty hard, remember exactly what the author's name is (I believe it's J.K. Rowley.....but this is a guess based on the recent buzz, and I've likely seen the name somewhere. I would venture I have a 65% chance of being close on the name, and maybe 50% chance of getting the spelling correct).

I can, however, say I have written a haiku about the Harry Potter books I have never read. And here it is:

Harry Potter books
Haven't read them to this date
Maybe I will though

Wow, I even amaze myself with the level of crap I can produce at a moments notice.

I once heard a choir conductor tell us to "sing like you're illiterate".

Um.....

I wasn't quite sure about that particular directive, and I ended up sounding like Kermit the Frog...muttering incoherent sounds.

Maybe if I use some sort of backwards, crazy logic, I could try watching the Harry Potter movies, and using a form of reverse theatrical osmosis, suck the words into my brain, transpose them into mental books, and read them in my sleep.

Yes, I'm sure that will work. I'll have to give it a go.

And as we come the end of today's blog about Harry Potter, I am hoping you've all gleaned some fantastic insight into these books, from what I've placed on the internet today.

And, I know you're asking how can this Anathema Heterodox fellow know so little about so much?

Well, it's a mystery to me as well. But I welcome you all back again next time for more of the same drivel I churn out in all of my posts.

And, uncharacteristically, here are some videos which are related (some loosely) to today's blog:

Simpsons Harry Potter spoof